I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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