yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
