We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
