she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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