i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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