I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
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