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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers

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• (801): View more from Utah

  It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won

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• (315): View more from New York

  In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house

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• (310): View more from California

  i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...

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