it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize