my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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