After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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