How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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