dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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