Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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