when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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