The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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