That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
