Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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