Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
