He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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