the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize