here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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