My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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