Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
