did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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