Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
