Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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