Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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