is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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