so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
