Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
