It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
