I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
