so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Randomize
