Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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