Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
