just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
