Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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