I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
