He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
