Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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