i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
This toilet bowl is my home.
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