So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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