What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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