according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
