Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
