I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
