Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
