No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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