U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
