She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The power of my boobs compel you
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
