well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
