I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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