My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
