he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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