Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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