i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
