watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
