i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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